


waiting game

by imposterhuman



Category: Captain Marvel (2019), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Developing Relationship, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Not Really Character Death, Sad, Spoilers for Captain Marvel, i mean not that much comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-11-23 14:10:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18152861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imposterhuman/pseuds/imposterhuman
Summary: Maria was no stranger to waiting.All her life had been a waiting game; as a black woman and a single mother, she didn’t have the opportunity to be first in line. If she got in line at all, she counted herself lucky. She waited because she had to, not because she wanted to. But she got used to waiting.Waiting on Carol Danvers was the hardest thing she ever did.warning: captain marvel spoilers, read at your own risk!





	waiting game

**Author's Note:**

> i just saw captain marvel and i have feELS
> 
> so!!! much!!! to!!! say!!! 
> 
> carol/maria is canon now i dont make the rules
> 
> enjoy!

Maria was no stranger to waiting. 

 

All her life had been a waiting game; as a black woman and a single mother, she didn’t have the opportunity to be first in line. If she got in line at all, she counted herself lucky. She waited because she had to, not because she wanted to. But she got used to waiting.

 

Waiting on Carol Danvers was the hardest thing she ever did. 

 

Carol was a firestorm of a person, the crazy to Maria’s collected. She was impulsive, irrational, and prone to fits of self-sacrificing heroics. She was brave to a fault, kinder than anyone Maria had met, and so determined to  _ fly  _ that it took Maria’s breath away. 

 

Maria loved her. First, only in the way someone loves a piece of art, something beautiful but ultimately untouchable. Then it was the love of friends, helping hands on the ladder to the cockpit, an extra pair of eyes checking her gear. Her love burned into kisses and touches and desperate hands clinging like it was the last time they’d feel each other. 

 

They  _ fit _ , like jigsaw pieces in a weird puzzle. Carol was her other half, the part of her she didn’t know was missing until she found her. It was totally unexpected that they would click like they did, first as best friends, then as something more. At the end of the day, they weren’t  _ that  _ different, her and Carol; they were both fighters.

 

Their first kiss was after two years of waiting, of stolen glances and fleeting touches. Maria had just gotten out of her plane, winded from complications, when Carol climbed up into the cockpit and planted one on her. There was no discussion, no thinking, just Carol’s lips on her own, stealing the breath from her lungs.

 

They were already inseparable; the kissing was just a natural extension of their relationship. Really, they were always going to end up tangled in each other’s sheets. It was practically written in the skies they flew that they were made for each other. 

 

They still flew separately, but not alone. Maria’s voice was in Carol’s ear, and Carol’s voice was in Maria’s. They brushed fingers before climbing into their seats. They whispered  _ higher, further, faster  _ like a mantra to keep the other safe. 

 

Maria never felt like she was waiting on Carol, not anymore. They were in sync, flying together like little birds. Maria was  _ happy  _ where she was, happy to keep their rhythm even though she wanted more from life.

 

Carol wasn’t, though.

 

Carol was a whirlwind of ambition; always had been, always would be. When Lawson brought out a new engine to test, something that could end the wars they fought, Carol was first in line to volunteer.

 

Maria didn’t stop her. She wanted more for Carol, too.

 

It didn’t matter that Lawson was risking her life, risking  _ Carol’s  _ life. Carol wanted to go anyway. She wanted to stop the fighting, end the wars. 

 

(Maria never told her, but she would’ve taken the war if she had Carol by her side. She never would’ve told Carol that, anyway, but she regretted having her chance snatched from her.) 

 

Carol got in the plane that morning, all smiles, with a peck on Maria’s lips and a jaunty wave. It was a routine test flight, they did them all the time. Maria wished, later, that there had been a sense of foreboding, something,  _ anything _ that would have warned her that Carol wouldn’t be coming home.

 

Maria had strapped Carol in, kissing her temple and repeating their mantra for luck.  _ Higher, further, faster, baby! _

 

The takeoff was smooth, the flight more so. Maria was listening to Carol’s overjoyed whoops at how fast they were going, and Maria was listening when it all went wrong.

 

Something was firing at them. Something was firing at  _ Carol _ . They were in space, for god’s sake, and  _ something was firing at Carol _ .

 

She heard Carol’s escalating panic, heard her and Lawson try to land, heard Carol’s whispered  _ I’m sorry  _ before the plane impacted and the signal cut out.

 

Maria had always known, logically, that her or Carol could get shot down at any time. She had known that their lives were always in danger, flying warplanes, but it hadn’t been  _ real.  _

 

It was real when the US Air Force captain handed her the scrap of Carol’s dog tags that they had found in the wreckage. It was real when Carol didn’t come home that night, or the night after that, or the night after that. It was real when she had to explain it to her daughter.

 

Some part of her, though, never gave up hope. They didn’t find a body. Carol was a survivor. She looked to the sky and prayed that Carol was out there somewhere (she didn’t want to think about why Carol hadn’t come home). 

 

Most nights, Maria would sit on her porch, stare at the stars, and  _ wait _ .

 

(She stopped waiting, eventually. There was only so long you could cling to hope when you wore the remnants of your lover’s dog tags under your shirt).

 

\---

 

Six years of waiting was what it took to get Carol back. 

 

Six agonizing years of talking about “Auntie Carol” to her daughter, of staring at the sky and  _ praying _ . Six years of mourning alone because the mission was so classified that she couldn’t even say its name, much less the details. Six years of staring at the little bits of her heart, shattered to pieces in Carol’s old room. 

 

It took one year to smile again, two to hear her name without a flinch. In three years, Maria was happily telling Monica stories about Auntie Carol. Four years made it so Monica could wear Carol’s old jacket, the one that Maria had hidden under her pillow while it still smelled like Carol. Five years after the accident, and Maria could get back into a cockpit without the phantom feeling of her lover’s hands helping her in.

 

Six years later, Carol came back.

 

“I should’ve known,” Maria greeted her. There were no kisses, no  _ I love you _ s, no sweet nothings whispered in her ear. Carol barely seemed to recognize her, and that hurt more than six years of waiting. “I should’ve known you were too stubborn to die.”

 

Carol was just as warm and comforting as she always was against Maria, but there was something missing. 

 

Maria took one look at her best friend, her lover, her  _ soulmate _ , and knew she’d have to wait a little longer.

 

That was okay, though. Maria was no stranger to waiting.

**Author's Note:**

> some rambling:  
> -gahhhh did anyone else think that carol was like,,, super similar to tony? just general character arc wise? i felt like there were a lot of iron man parallels, plus maria&carol gives me serious rhodey&tony vibes  
> -i wish they had delved more into carols backstory, though :(  
> -flerKEN  
> -did some of the plot feel rushed to you guys, too? honestly it didnt feel as fleshed out as it could have been and i think that while it was a decent movie, it had the potential to be so much better  
> -nick fury in that movie was an eternal mood  
> -side note where did my chill fury go why is he an ass now
> 
> tl;dr- i have a lot of feelings okay
> 
> comments and kudos make my day!!


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